Hey…

This is important.

Read carefully and thoughtfully.

Digest it, write about it, think about it, reread this post…

And do it again and again until you understand the depth of the information and how much it affects your being conscious or not.

Question:

Have you ever initiated a task, goal, project or something relevant and stopped in the middle or shortly before completion without a real, tangible or logical reason?

I bet you have.

I know I have.

There may be several reasons for this being the case.

Some of reasons you may be aware of; some of the reasons may be completely unconscious.

I’m here to tell ya it’s completely frustrating and self degrading when these scenarios take shape.

It shouldn’t be…and yet, it usually is.

Just so you know, this phenomena is very common place.

Without laying too much blame out there (culture), why don’t we talk about an option that may help give you an outlet.

Something to push against or lean on when things get rough.

Now lets begin this dissection with an important lesson that one needs to accept as reality before beginning the quest of finding that something or someone to push against or lean on.

That person or thing you choose to push against must be of substantial character to withstand the pushing and leaning.

In other words, if you choose to push or lean on someone or something, they must be strong and capable and aware of themselves enough to handle your worries, cares and concerns without crumbling themselves.

What we are talking about here is support.

Some refer to this support as social support or a support system.

Either way you choose to look at it, this support system must strong and intelligent to provide you with the backbone of understanding, care and even an occasional suggestion or two to get you through that which is holding you back.

Here’s a “for instance” to consider:

How many of your “friends” could you call on that would surely be there for you if your car broke down and you needed a ride home? (count the friends and jot down the number)

How many of your friends could you call on to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy and drop it off at your house when you are too sick to get out of bed?

How many of your friends would be by your side to help you through the loss of a family member?  Would they bring you cooked meals, cover for you at work and help out around the house until you were emotionally back your feet again?

Even though the last scenario is a tough one to think about, if you have anyone in your life that fits the bill as “friend” and would be there for you when times are the toughest, you have a support system in that person.

Unfortunately, some of us don’t have a single person in our lives that would be there regardless of the need in question.

If this is you, you need to build a support system.

You may be wondering why this is so important and what affect it may have on you.

As you stumble through life…and you will stumble, you need to know you can count on an individual or two to care enough to stand right next to you to hold you up when life’s wind tries to blow you over.

And it may not even be life’s wind.

More often than not, it’s the wind from our own turbine that blows us backward and sideways.

And more often than not, we don’t even recognize it’s happening when it does.

That someone needs to have enough self awareness to see the forest for the trees and sift through the top layers of your frustrations to get down to the roots of your setbacks.

That someone also needs to be emotionally strong enough to allow you to flop around in frustration, excuses and denial until you can see your own discomforts.

When you have a support system of this nature, you are more likely to push past your setbacks if you are willing.

These are the people that deserve the title “friend.”

And here’s the most important part:

To attain a handful of these “friends” in your life is a feat in itself.

And the only way to do it is to be a “friend” first.

Once you are that person that can be counted on regardless of the asking, you will recognize the people that you deserve as “friends.”

Now go back to the top of the page and ask yourself the questions.  Can you be counted on to be there for the “friends” in your circle?

If so, will they be there for you?

If so, begin to assimilate a list of setbacks, frustrations or scenarios that you struggle with and ask your “friends” for support.

If you know you need to lose weight to help battle your knee pain, tell your people that you will be watching what you put in your mouth and ask for their support.

If you work with these people, ask them not to bring pastries and candy in the office if you are one to be tempted.

If these people are your immediate family, let them know you will be living and eating healthier so you won’t be bringing unhealthy food into the house.  If they want to eat foods that aren’t on your food list, ask them to indulge outside the home.

If you are having difficulty sticking to your exercise program, tell your friends and family your workout plans and that you have had difficulty sticking to the program.  Tell them your workout schedule and ask them to help you stick to that schedule.

If they see you slacking off, they need to remind you of your goals and desires.

Have them call you to be sure you made it to your scheduled workout.

There are plenty of ways to incorporate your friends into your life in ways that will be beneficial for both parties.  You just need to be thoughtful and a bit creative.

Don’t be afraid to ask.

That is probably the most difficult part.

Hey, we all have our frustrations and setbacks.

And, we all need support whether it be a kind word, gesture or necessary kick in the pants.

Be that thoughtful person first and foremost and ask for it back when you need it.

You better believe this takes practice.

You also better believe the rewards and opportunities that will show themselves because of this united community you’ve cultivated are endless.

I invite you to be a part of my community.

You can start by leaving a comment below with your frustrations, fears or setbacks below.  I will be there with my own brand of support to help you along the way.

And when someone else leaves a comment and you can be of support to them, reply back with a bit of support yourself.

We all need that community of support.

Lets start right here.

Until next time…

Get strong and stay strong,

Rochelle Gravance

PS- I got ur back.